Stories about pickuplines that did (or did not) work:
In the beer
2011-04-18My best friend was sitting on a barstool next to a guy she had a big crush on when she nervously spilled her beer. Instead of showing her embarrassment, she dipped her hand in the spill, wiped it on the guy's face and said, "Quit drooling on me."They've been married for 14 years and have 4 kids.
Like a book
2011-03-27When my grandfather was flying back from the South Pacific, he radioed in to Kansas where he was landing. He had just recovered from malaria and thus didn't know that women were now working in control towers.
When he called in he said, "This is Captain Allen preparing for landing. How do you read me?"
My grandmothers' voice came over the airwaves and she said "Hello Captain Allen, I read you like a book."
He was shocked and intrigued and giddy at the sound of her voice.
He immediately went up to the control tower when he landed and asked her out.
Shortly thereafter, they married and lived happily ever after.
Funny kids
2011-02-25I used to work in a children's library in an urban area. One day, as I was putting books away, a little kid started hollering at me.
"Shorty! Shorty! Shorty in the blue an' black! My cousin thinks you're cute. He's 8."
"Um, I might be a little old for him then."
"Yeah. That's what I told him." (Edit comment)
I used to work in a children's library in an urban area. One day, as I was putting books away, a little kid started hollering at me.
"Shorty! Shorty! Shorty in the blue an' black! My cousin thinks you're cute. He's 8."
"Um, I might be a little old for him then."
"Yeah. That's what I told him."
Cheesy line at work brake
2011-02-04Last summer I worked at a garden patio cafe in brooklyn, and after a particularly grueling, sweaty evening of slinging cocktails and sweetbreads, I sat down to have my shift drink at a table by myself. no sooner had I finished the first sip of my mojito, an impossibly tall, mysterious, and devastatingly handsome young man walked up, pulled out a chair to seat himself, and then leaned forward on his elbows, flashed his dimples, and said, "sorry I'm late."
Cheesy, yet brilliant, and a welcome delivery from such a prime specimen. the next morning, I discovered he was so precocious because he was only 19. Oops!
How my grandparents met
2011-01-30I have to get in on sharing the grandparent stories! Mine are Dutch and met in occupied Holland at the end of WWII. She was a secretary in the Dutch Underground for a rather high-up officer who, despite his many advances, she wanted nothing to do with. He was a lower-ranking officer who was working to locate and disable land mines. One day, he came into my grandmother's boss's office and she caused quite the commotion by choosing him over his superior.
That's not the end though: the Netherlands in those days was pretty strongly divided along Protestant/Catholic lines and they were from different sides of that fence. He ended up having to take his father to court for the required permission to marry my grandmother.
Two years ago he died of a heart attack, and doctors say that he actually survived much longer than he ever should have because he simply refused to die until he was by her side to tell her he loved her.
Take 'm off
2011-01-22My best friend was sitting on a barstool next to a guy she had a big crush on when she nervously spilled her beer. Instead of showing her embarrassment, she dipped her hand in the spill, wiped it on the guy's shirt and said, "better take off those wet clothes"
Sweet story
2011-01-15It wasn't a pick up line, but it's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me, so I have to share. I was at the library when a young man with Downs came up to me, closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and said, "You smell like happy feels!"
My father's pickupline
2011-01-13The day my parents met. My father needed a date for a function, so his secretary gestured towards my mother, 5 feet away, who was in the conference room on business. My father looked at her, then turned back to his secretary and said this pickupline, "But is she smart"? (Implying my mother was beautiful...but probably stupid. Also didn't address her directly but talked about her like she wasn't there - good one dad). My mother turned to him and said, "Smart enough to never go out with you". And then sashayed out of the room. Since everyone has always been too afraid to ever talk back to him, my dad spent the next 3 days groveling and begging her to go out with him. She relented. They've been married 23 years.
Funny pick-up-line story at flower shop
2011-01-07In a town I lived in for a few years, on the main street, there was a flower shop/stand. This funny pick-up-line story happened a couple of months ago. As I was walking by to get back to my apartment and the guy working inside the shop said, "wait, wait!" and handed me this beautiful pale pink ranunculus. I was somewhat startled and ungraciously replied, "Thanks?" and he said, "I'm sorry, but until you'd walked by, I thought this was the most beauty I'd see today.
Funny pick up line story
2011-01-03Thus funny pick up line story happened a couple of weeks ago. I was walking with a group of friends and we heard someone call from behind us, “Hey, you dropped something!” I kept walking and ignored him but one of my more gullible friends stopped and looked around for something on the ground. The picker-upper said slyly, “If you fell for that you can fall for me!”
